Ruby Elfgutter was a famous orcish beauty in her youth, and one of the great heroes of the Battle of Brazenskull, where she killed many of the enemy and bit a knight’s hand off, gauntlet and all.* She eventually retired and became the beloved Grandma Ruby to generations of orc children. She always has room on the fridge for a work of crayon art, ** will listen for hours to childish babble, and bakes a mean tadpole crunch cookie.
But when bad stuff goes down and you get those bastard elves sniffing around the borders, Grandma Ruby’ll pull the battleaxe down off the wall, plant herself in the mouth of the cave, and heaven help anybody who tries to get to HER grandkids… - Ursula Vernon
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*The hand was mounted on a plaque and hangs in Ruby’s kitchen to this day, where she drapes dishtowels on it.
**Being orcs, the art usually consists of such masterpieces as “MoM wIth A sEverD Hed” or “mE aNd SpOt smoOshiNg faIriEs,” themes visited and revisited by generations and usually involving a lot of red crayon.

Ruby Elfgutter was a famous orcish beauty in her youth, and one of the great heroes of the Battle of Brazenskull, where she killed many of the enemy and bit a knight’s hand off, gauntlet and all.* She eventually retired and became the beloved Grandma Ruby to generations of orc children. She always has room on the fridge for a work of crayon art, ** will listen for hours to childish babble, and bakes a mean tadpole crunch cookie.

But when bad stuff goes down and you get those bastard elves sniffing around the borders, Grandma Ruby’ll pull the battleaxe down off the wall, plant herself in the mouth of the cave, and heaven help anybody who tries to get to HER grandkids… - Ursula Vernon

————————

*The hand was mounted on a plaque and hangs in Ruby’s kitchen to this day, where she drapes dishtowels on it.

**Being orcs, the art usually consists of such masterpieces as “MoM wIth A sEverD Hed” or “mE aNd SpOt smoOshiNg faIriEs,” themes visited and revisited by generations and usually involving a lot of red crayon.

144 notes

blonde-bookworm:

imagine being fourteen and having the mass-murderer who killed your parents telling you that he’s going to kill you

and then escaping with the corpse of a fellow student AND THEN HAVING NO-ONE BELIEVE YOU

AND GOING BACK TO LIVE IN A LOVELESS HOUSEHOLD FOR SIX WEEKS WITH NO INFORMATION FROM YOUR WORLD, THINKING THAT THAT MASS-MURDERER MIGHT BE STANDING ON YOUR DOORSTEP AT ANY MOMENT

Harry has every right to be angsty in ootp I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU HANDLE IT

(Source: storiesliveinme)

64,110 notes

braydaaan:

vvank3rshim:

holyhotpantsbatman:

My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.

lol.

I really love these, and I reblog them every single time. Some of you don’t realize how easy it’s to forget to do some of those stuff or how hard they can be some days.

now i feel like ive actually accomplished something today thank u ily

721,443 notes

worshiptheband:

wow im just going to leave this here

worshiptheband:

wow im just going to leave this here

52,897 notes

philsandifer:

skalja:

  • Favorite thing about this scene: the Doctor acknowledging his part in sending a companion mixed signals instead of blaming their response to his signals on irrational human-ness (and femaleness). Now go back and say this to Martha, Doctor, preferably with an actual “I’m sorry.”
  • Least favorite thing about this scene: fandom missing the point and continuing to insist that Clara’s a horrible shallow person who just wanted Eleven to be her boyfriend and dislikes Twelve because of that

Overture to a post. 

Also, maybe a little reminder to all those who are pissy that the Doctor is not a “young” “cute” guy anymore. He’s not your boyfriend, guys and gals. Deal with it.

(Source: storybrookewinchesters)

25,544 notes

*chokes on her rice*

*chokes on her rice*

2,210 notes

pyraa-mids:



OOOOOOOOOOOOMG…. Yes. yes. I want this…

pyraa-mids:

OOOOOOOOOOOOMG…. Yes. yes. I want this…

(Source: cheloescobarmup)

844 notes